External factors- Let them not define you

Life is full of complications, especially for those who cannot define themselves due to external factors. Most of the people today want to come out better than others even when they are not.
Things are not as they seem with social media, which is taking over the social life we had when we were kids, you surely will never know the truth about people you socialise.

Today, most of us are suffering from problems such as; insecurity, lack of confidence, anxiety, envy, stress, depression, doubt, anger to name but a few. All these problems are self-made. We have chosen to define ourselves based on what is trending. Social media has contributed massively to the growth in this behaviour.

Social media itself is a beautiful development which if well handled, can better and has done so to many lives, and if mishandled can ruin and has done so to many lives. Great, isn’t so? Nothing here on earth is 100% perfect, every development comes with two sides, just like we have the north pole and the south pole, or just like a magnet has the two sides no matter how big or small, for it to be a magnet, it should have two sides.

We have invested in comparing ourselves with others, so much that we can’t define ourselves anymore, our lives are spoiled, affecting our mental health, a part of health most governments have ignored to address, and most victims are left alone even to be victimised more by society. And the topic of mental health is a vital subject that deserves its own space and time for discussion. I do feel the cause is the lack of belief in oneself.

We compare ourselves with others in superiority and in an inferiority way, both have effects on our lives, simply because we let it define us.

In terms of superior comparisons, we think we are; better than other people, prettier or more good looking than others, make more money than others do, have more followers on social media, have influence, dress better, speak better, was raised better, and so much more.

When it comes to Inferior comparisons, it just speaks to the opposite of the superior comparisons, and most of us this is the life to go, but no. It is better to define oneself with your strengths. People have failed to excel in the areas where they are talented because they feel it is not as good as that of other people.

So much of our lives are off track. We don’t see it because we are blinded, we think trends are a thing to keep up with when they are not. We stop believing in ourselves and focus on the things surrounding us. We have allowed external factors to define us.

When we compare ourselves with others, we are saying; ‘we don’t know or believe in who we are, and we don’t know or believe in ourselves.’

Comparison is a killer of contentment, joy and influence. It will steal our ability to be real and uplifting to others. We will always feel we do not have enough as compared to others. It will take away our joys and will affect our influence on society. For as long as you do not have your voice, you won’t be influential.

Healthy relationships lost as a result of comparisons. By comparing your spouse, boyfriend/girlfriend to that of your friend will cause you to start doubting your choice. We have areas that we cannot base our comparisons on, like the general outlook of a person or their personality, this is unique.

Comparisons lead us into believing lies and not knowing or believing our true identity. We need to pay attention to our immediate personal needs and be comfortable in our skin. Appreciating our uniqueness and that of others will help us build personal confidence and respect others.