When it comes to love, we get it wrong. But how do we get it wrong?
We get it wrong because, after some time, we discover that the feelings we once had have faded away.
It is at this moment that we begin to accuse one another of betrayals and fake promises, lies, pretenses, and the issues of true colors come to play.
To some people, there is no love. To some, there is love. This is in line with the marriages of today. They are not lasting. Along the way, issues start coming up: fights within, cheating, mistrust, accusations. In some cases, we have witnessed murders, and all these things are happening in homes of happy beginnings.
It began well, vows made in the presence of many as witnesses, the beginning of happy family life. A lot of money is spent for a few hours of a wedding event, to some, they keep it simple and affordable.
From a personal point of view, it is the way we see love in marriage as individuals. We place ourselves on the receiving end. And what we expect to receive is the way we want it to be. We want to be loved the way we wish, according to our definition of love. The fact that we want to receive, it will not work.
They say love is about giving, and I think giving without expecting anything in return. It is also true that: “You cannot give what you do not have.” So how come when it comes to love, we want it to work?
Many people today keep pets in their homes. Pets are adopted because they are loved. And if we look at the relationship between the pet and its owner. We notice the owner gives out his/her love without expecting anything in return. I think this is the best practical example I can give when it comes to giving.
So from my personal point of view, real love is unconditional. Give it without expecting anything in return. And you have to give it exactly the way you want it to be given to you, but do not expect it at all. To come your way, just give it unconditionally.
Why do I say so? John 3:16-18
16 For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17 For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18 Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because they have not believed in the name of God’s one and only Son.
Our maker demonstrates it in this scripture, and that is how I understand it. God gave us His only begotten son to save us from suffering. Our happiness, peace, prosperity, successes, and everything good. Is what He wants for us, and that is how we should give too. We need to see the people we love, the way God wants to see us with Christ in our lives.
The Seb 
I honestly think unconditional love in this sense does not exist. There are always conditions to love. That is why marriages are failing today. Couples are always stating conditions for their relationship. If you do this I will never forgive you, my love for you will end etc. In reality what is existing I conditional love. Unconditional love can only exist between God and his children, Parent to Child. Although its also limited. Nowadays wives in whatsapp groups are always talking about giving their husbands so much sex so that he can give them so much money and support. Husbands also want the same. To me unconditional love is a fantasy. The reality is we are all expecting something in return for our love. THERE IS NO FREE LOVE.
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Thank you Doris for reading through and your insight on the matter.
It is true what you are saying, but it takes one to give without expecting anything in return.
The idea is to reach out to people out there and preach this message. Do not wait to be loved, if you love someone, just love them, and if you do not have fondness for someone, it is better to move on until you find one to settle with and give them the love you have for them unconditionally.
What will make marriages fail is the fact that one enters into marriage for their personal gain, and that is not Love. If you are in a relationship for personal gain, forget about a happy relationship, for as long as there is a condition to it, it is not love at all. You are better off alone, that way you will easily meet the one you love.
Stay Blessed.
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Humanly speaking, my friend, you are probably correct. But there is true love, unconditional and free. “Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. In this the love of God was made manifest among us, that God sent his only Son into the world, so that we might live through him. In this is love, not that we have loved God but that he loved us and sent his Son to be the propitiation for our sins. Beloved, if God so loved us, we also ought to love one another.”
Most of us following Jesus trip up all over the place on getting this right. I get mad at an “idiot” who cuts me off in traffic . . . the way I sometimes cut people off because I am in a hurry. My purposes just seems more important at that moment. Or we lust or envy or covet. In our hearts we commit adultery, murder, theft (https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+5&version=ESV).
But Jesus IS very different from us. Our place ts to allow His Holy Spirit to work in us to conform us to His likeness.
Love is there, it is free and you can enjoy it, when it is defined as Agape Love: wanting what is best for someone else without regard for its cost or benefit to the one loving.
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His love is so different. I am indeed grateful for His kind of love towards us. 🙌❤
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