Read the Manual yourself

So this man once observed how his best friend connected his expensive stereo after moving to a new apartment. And when he bought his brand new stereo similar to that of his friend, he managed to assemble the stereo, in fact, better than his best friend. But when he sat comfortably on his comfy couch to turn on the stereo, it failed to power up. He counter checked his connections and tried again but still failed. He called his friend to confirm if he had done it right. His friend was affirmative. Out of frustration, he called the store to complain that the stereo was dysfunctional. The store asked him to return the stereo so that the tech team can have a look at it because they were sure that it is against the procedure to sell a dysfunctional item, and no item leaves the store without passing the test. 

Full of frustration, the man enters the store furiously, drawing the attention of everyone in the store. He was well-received by a well-trained and beautiful cashier. By the time he settled, everyone was watching as he unpacked the stereo, trying to make the store manager and team look incompetent. The cashier noticed something with the manual. She cleared her throat to draw his attention. When he looked up, given the people whose attention he had drawn, she asked him if he had read through the operating manual.

It is common in the world of humans to make judgments of others and think we know them better based on how they are Judged or described by other people. Out there, we have many victims who have been presupposed, misunderstood, mistreated, overlooked, deceived, falsely identified based on the opinion of others. I have been a victim of such judgments. People have judged me in the eyes of others. Well, I am not complaining. All I am trying to say is that it is more important to understand people yourself rather than understand them based on what other people say.

I value what people say about me in my absence compared to what they say about me in my presence. I say so because many times, people are afraid to speak their minds to someone directly, and there are several reasons why. The main factors being;

1. Fear– Fear plays the role of an enemy in our lives. It hides our true feelings and identity, hence creating an environment of fake relationships. We fear losing a friend if we tell them the truth, and it hurts. We try our best to say to our friends what they want to hear and not what they deserve to hear. In the process, we lie.
2. Loyalty– People deny themselves in the name of being loyal. They will tell a lie to share an opinion with someone they consider a faithful friend, and they never want to lose them.
3. Owing to a favor– Scratch my back, and I scratch yours. Seem to be a way to get along with people. But from where I stand, it is the reason people have lost out on morals. For instance, you need something, and someone, whose job is to provide you with what you need at that particular moment turns around and makes you a slave of his/her own by providing you with your need but makes it look like you do not deserve it, so you owe him/her a favor. People should focus on giving and not expecting anything in return, favors compromise true friendship.
4. Lack of confidence– Confidence does not come easily, and many people lack it. But some people will gain confidence by associating with people who seem to know more about other people. Even if what they know is false, they will believe them.

I feel for many people out there who have fallen victim to such judgment. I have come to believe that there is no such thing as an evil person or relationship. It could be between two people, a group of people, work relationships, or any relationship. What we have is chemistry, which is how people will react to one another that defines a relationship. That is because we have diversified personal interests, beliefs, cultures, and religious backgrounds. 

So if my relationship with one person did not work, I have no right to judge the relation of that person with another, for I do not know their chemistry. And Just because my relationship failed with you does not mean you will never have a successful one.

Therefore, I should not base my judgment of someone based on what other people say about him/her instead, I should engage myself in knowing this person better and see where the chemistry takes us, but I have to play my role very well to ensure I do not miss this opportunity to relate with this beautiful work of God.